Between rage and serenity

You can achieve a power like no other

Feeling empty

So much of my life, time, money, effort, blood, sweat and tears was poured into the EMT class (and this semester in general)... I feel like Frodo and Sam after they destroyed the ring. What do we do now that it is over. I am changed... I am emotionally and physically changed. I cannot unlearn or unsee the things I have. I cannot go back and not know the skills I do. I put so much effort into the class to just to end it so anti-climatically feels a bit morose leaving me as if I was moribund. I cannot go back from having witnessed deaths and graphic medical emergencies and learning how to deal with it. I just know how to now. I feel changed but I feel empty. I want to use my knowledge but I guess it is that end of finals feeling where you have a moment to ponder and reflect upon everything you learned, saw, did and experienced and the efforts and turmoil that you put into it to get there and then just to see it end is bittersweet. Whelp, can't wait till next semester.

Week 3 of Junior Firefighter training

Last Thursday I had the great opportunity to be able to learn basic search and rescue techniques when you are in a burning building. I also was taught how to open up a fire hydrant and connect the 5in and 2.5 in hoses to it in order to be ready for responding to a fire. It was very informative and very much so hands-on training that I just absolutely enjoyed. Every week I go I feel like a little kid again yet also a mature adult being able to learn these important and life-saving techniques.

I bought 4 books

I purchased 4 books online
The book of five rings
The tao of jeet kune do
Bruce lee fighting methods all the volumes
And bushido the classic portrait of samurai culture
When they get here in the mail after finals are over and in between studying for clep exams I will read them and write what I think, especially concerning the Tao of Jeet Kune Do.

Physically and Mentally tired

The feeling of being so physically exhausted after reaching your limit of ahat your body can handle and then pushing your mind mentally so you can keep processing and staying awake days on end working hard non stop, I feel that way too often, maybe I push myself too much but it never feels like enough, I wish my body was not contained by this mortal being that I am. I want to do more but sometimes I can't do it all.
I feel exhausted, mentally and physically.

Restlessness

It seems too often these days that I find myself awoken by my own dreams. Either by death, shock or struggle,  they jumpstart my heart and conscious into being set into the day. All I want is a good night's rest so my body and mind can heal but what do you do when it doesn't let you?

Quote of the day

"Be water my friend" - Bruce Lee